Family and Porn

Does your family know you write and produce porn?

Todd, 37, VA

Dear Todd,

They sure do, and it’s been an uphill battle since the beginning. My family is very conservative and traditional. I was raised with Catholic beliefs and my parents took a very strict approach towards how they raised me to view sexuality. I was taught that sex before marriage was wrong. I was taught that porn was bad.

For most of my life, I followed the typical suburban path. I graduated summa cum laude from a great university. I got a high paying corporate job and then fell victim to the mainstream rat race. So, when I uprooted myself and moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in entertainment, my folks were not particularly enthused. They didn’t like that I was leaving a life of financial success and stability to pursue the great unknown. I wasn’t about to hold myself back!

When I started writing pornography, I initially didn’t think it would turn into a full-blown career. So, at first I didn’t even tell my parents about my adult scripts. However, as things started taking off and I moved into a full-time position with New Sensations, I was left with no choice but to tell my folks. Sadly, they were extremely disappointed. They always wanted me to grow up and be a doctor or a lawyer, not a pornographer. They have strong aversions to the adult industry and the negative messages they feel it sends. Although I’ve spent time trying to dispel their misconceptions, it has been in vain.

I’ve come to accept it. Not everyone is going to support your life decisions and ultimately what is most important is believing in what you do. I believe in what I do and I love what I do. Sure, there are times when my parents’ lack of support breaks my heart. When I won my first AVN, the first person I called was my mother. She told me she didn’t want to talk about ‘porn’. On one of the most joyous days of my life, I did not have my parents’ support. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I’ve toughened up a lot since then. Honestly, as nice as it would be to have parental validation, I don’t need it in order to be happy.

Thanks for the question!

Jacky St. James
missjackystjames.com

Want to ask Jacky a question about love, sex, relationships, porn or the adult industry? Click here to submit your questions!

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